


ok but have you ever seen him drive

by humancorn



Series: what's a crackfic? [3]
Category: John Wick (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, crackfic, john wick is a horrible driver 2k18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 17:02:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15223736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humancorn/pseuds/humancorn
Summary: So we know that John Wick is like deadly with a variety of weapons, but has anyone ever seen him Drive Normally?





	ok but have you ever seen him drive

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a headcanon I had while watching both of the John Wick movies in a row and realizing he never drives like a normal human in any of the scenes he's in.

 A lot of people knew John Wick as the guy who would kill your entire extended family if you so much as minor-ly wronged him. Unfortunately, Aurelio was not one of those people. He knew John Wick—the man who once drove his car through the garage doors of Aurelio’s business in the middle of the afternoon and then half-heartedly ( ~~embarrassedly~~ ) apologized and said he would fix it—and he did.

While everyone Aurelio did business with seemed to think the man was some sort of infallible source of absolute power and mystery, Aurelio _knew_. He just couldn’t take him seriously. Not when John Wick, the same man who had killed 3 people with a pencil, had also absolutely wrecked 6 cars Aurelio had loaned to him and once ran into a fucking stop sign. Sure, he was dangerous with a gun or a knife, but goddamn was he useless behind a wheel. At this point, Aurelio was unsure as to whether it was sheer incompetence or just an absolute fucking lack of skill. The man had two fucking speeds: none mph or 150mph.  Aurelio was convinced that John had some sort of agreement with local police, because there was no way he would still have his license otherwise. If he even had a license. Wait, did he have a license? Did he pass drivers Ed.? Aurelio cannot recall an instance in which John had shown any indication of having an ID, let alone a driver’s license, and he supposed that, well, when your entire life revolved around a Russian mafia group for over a decade, you didn’t really need an ID or a driver’s license. But still. How did he…buy groceries? He sure as hell didn’t walk or bike. He drove to Aurelio’s shop, so it could be assumed that he also drove to other places in town, but? How? Did he just kinda pull up to Walmart going 95 miles an hour? Aurelio was determined to find out, regardless of how ridiculous it would sound to ask a famed assassin whether he had a driver’s license. So, the next time John called him to come fix up his car, he asked.

“John, do you….do you have a driver’s license?” Aurelio asked, his face scrunched up in concern as he looked over the decently decimated car. John looked at him for a long moment and Aurelio would swear he saw a brief flash of a half-smile.

“No.” John replied, and he walked off mysteriously towards his house.


End file.
